remove reproductive facilities>
Joan Vermin
>look for zombie people in POST-APOCALYPTIC LANDSCAPE.
>wipe of shoe on grass.
>discover which directions you can head and head towards the one with the longest name.
>discover what my goal is
>use FART DIFFUSE in case i run into zied-clones.
Joan Vermin
<eye>
<chest>
<point at you>
john hinkley
>>ask him if he's for real.
Joan Vermin
> pour my guts out onto the ground
>wallow in them
>scream in emotional agony and hatred "why am i always fucking it up?"
> i dont have enough guts to die
shane
you want to see me happy but i DON'T HAVE TIME TO DIE!!!!
john hinkley
>hey main are you for real?
>hey man are you for real ?
Spur
>>you say out loud fuck you why dont you just let me wallow in self pity without fuckin me for it? then you pee again.
Spur
>>there are no zombie people here.
>>you dont have any marijuana.
>>the zombie people attack!
>>you may go north south east or west. since north and south both have 5 letters, you go northsouth.
>>you are in POST-APOCALYPTIC LANDSCAPE. there are zombie people here growing marijuana for the robocops. they attack. you are now a zombie.
>>your goal is to grow marijuana for the police to sell to the mutant-junkies of the wartorn world.
>>you do not have the FART DIFFUSE yet.
Spur
>>the zombies dismiss your gesture of peace, but the evil cop overlord understands and laughs, taking your leg in his mouth to quantify your gazeptigock. somebody understands and feels likewise.
>>you ask the overlord if hes for real. he wipes your love-juices off his chin and laughs again. when he laughs, he spits your leg out accidentally at high velocities. it rips into your abdomen gush blood laceration badly wounded appendix still bleeding you are now low on blood.
>>your guts are already on the ground, but you pour them anyways
>>you wallow, you pathetic fuck, wallow wallow wallow all you do is wallow. the overlord lashes you with his zombieprod you feel pain oh yeah you dont need blood nevermind you are dead he says grow me POT!!!
>>you scream with agony. evil cop overlord looks on with pity, says oh gosh, im sorry, dont take it so hard, heres a piece of hard dick, go into the evil woods of dark mutant junkies with my only hard dick syringe of oxidation fluid.
>>you may not die anyways, you are already dead, you zombie you. shitcake.
Spur
>>hey mainline the oxidation fluid, you rust, your other leg falls off, you have no means of locomotion now or genitalia.
>>hey man this isnt real its a fucking game, dont take it so hard
Joan Vermin
>find EMERGENCY SUPER-SURGERY KIT and fix everything.
>put H2SO4 in the vats that are doing things with the marijuana and then ship them off to kill of the robocops
>send a letter to zied and tell him I'm doing okay
>find out that i had no genetalia in the first place and then get very excited and go about finding someone else's and usuing them for my own.
>find HIGH SPIRITS.
shane
some mariiijuuaana if you got some
john hinkley
>>put hydrogen sulfate in there too
>>laugh insanely okay just laugh inside thats all you can manage.
>>hey man IS THIS FOR REAL?
>>its hitting a little too close for me. its insaity. IS THIS FOR
REAL? i mean...you know, is this really happening? it really
seems like it but i dont really believe but how can i not believe
it, its so realistic.
Spur
>>there is no emergency super=-crap kit stupid. in this life, you only get what you pop out of the womb with, the rest of your life is slowly losing it bit by bit piece by piece. you figure out that you dont need it, everything is always and already fixed no matter how fucked it is. the fact that you are dead and without genitals or legs is not a bad thing, it is a blessing in disguise, a necessary obstacle for you to realize your true self.
>>there arent vats doing things with the pot, theyre growing out of the cliffside on the water. so you spray h2so4 over the hillside. the marijuana dissolves, then the hillside, then the zombies. soon everything is dissolved, even your own body.
>>you are in POST-APOCALYPTIC LANDSCAPE (LIMBOTIZED). it is a giant pink fog that surrounds you with nothing to see. there are soft wooshing sounds. you have no body. there is nothing here, nor is there anything to do for the rest of your game.
>>your score is now 11.
Spur
>>you send a letter to zied, he says you have no gentialia, here take mine, glad to know youre doing okay, but i dont believe you since the whole of reality has been dissolved by your idiotic scheme to destroy the ubercops.
>>you travel up. you are now in HIGH SPIRITS. suddenly you realize: okay, so i destroyed everything, but hey, its a learning experuience, right? everything is for a purpose, even destruction of everything.
>>you put hydrogen sulfate in there too, whoops, it neutralized the h2so4, everything slowly dissolves back into being, but the pink fog and whooshing sounds remain. you are in POST-APOCALYPTIC LANDSCAPE (POSTL
IMBOTIZED).
>>you laugh insanely inside. the telepathic zombies look at you funny and go back to their dope.
>>no this is not for real.
>>look, i understand this might be getting to be too much for you, i totally understand that, after all, i have monsters and mazes, great movie huh? so, if youd like, i can shut you up in your room and feed you dextromethorphan until everything feels a little less real. is that what you want? shut up now.
shane
the hydrogen sulfate neutralized the h2so4?
shit, chemistry has taken a crazy turn
Joan Vermin
.no, thats not what i want
.tell zied thank you and send him all hits of acid in 10 mile radius
.discover what pinkfog it made out of
.destroy HIGH SPIRITS in a fit of anger--i miss the zombie badly.
.masturbate unhappily
Spur
((entering conversation mode))
.oh yeah, thats not what i want either, i mean, i didnt want to hurt it, i just wanted to get away.
.well, i havent seen him in a while. okay, ive been-- all hits of acid in a 10 mile radius?!?! holy shit! well, wait a minute. where in particular was the center of this radius? hmm?
.excuse me? what was that?
.youre not making any sense. are you awake? ohmigod, youre crazy arent you here take my wad
>>you now have the wad
.just dont hurt me oh god dont make me AHHHH!!! whos is that the skin is different ack oop ack sizzle pttt
>>the telepathic zombie keels over, its head springing off its body, it appears to be made out of titanium alloys, and is not a zombie after all, maybe you over reacted and arent dead after all
>>the zombie doesnt respond.
>>there are SPARE ZOMBIE PARTS here.
john hinkley
>>get genitals
>>find a POST-APOCALYPTIC NIGHTMARE and feast on the roving insanity
located therein.
>>compare soggy cheese to old stale memories to cigarette butts that still
have tobacco but arent worth smoking. what do i find?
Joan Vermin
.i didnt masturbate. masturbate now.
. find nearest real human (not zombie) and rape it.
Spur
>>you get the spare zombie genitals. they seem to-- no, nevermind, its just your imagination, forget it.
>>you go to sleep. when you wake up you are right where you were when you went to sleep, except the name of the place is now POST-APOCALYPTIC NIGHTMARE. there is an ancient redneck here tending to his crops.
>>you eat the crops.
>>the old stale memories arent here. you find a cigarette butt thats not worth smoking.
.so, what've you been doing with yourself lately? its been too long.
.oh yeah, say, would you mind dripping on the crops, its healthy for them.
.is that some kind of pick up line?
>>the old guy drops his shorts
Joan Vermin
> rape the man
>eat crops much and then puke them back up for him to grow
> hang all my panties on the tie rack
Spur
>>you cant rape until he says no.
.no.
>>you have already eaten the crops. feasting on the roving insanity, SO TO SPEAK. but you put your finger down your throat and vomit. the man pulls his pants back up.
>>you cannot reach your panties without a ladder.
Prick
say "i do so like pumpkin"
Joan Vermin
>fashion ladder from zombie parts
>make Prick into a pumpkin pie.
Spur
>>you fashion zombie parts into a ladder and shove it into your panties unfortu nately the zombie dick is in the front you are now pregannt oh its a ZOMBIE BABY WOOPS MISCARRIAGE.
>>you make the prick into prick pie, but you cannot reach the pumpkin pie without your panties.
Prick
why didn't you do what i said to do asshole
Joan Vermin
its ju8st a game, shane, ca;m down
Prick
oh yeah as if its really only a game
Joan Vermin
pretend shane, for us. pretend and everything will be much better.
Prick
you're THE MAN, aren't you.. don't lie to me, you're THE MAN!!
Spur
>>an anvil drops from the sky, inches from your face.
>>there is an anvil here.
Prick
computer will now tell me if sunday is THE MAN
Joan Vermin
yay.
Prick
this rdream about nomeansno, they were playing in a big institution like i think maybe an asylum of sorts everybody going to the show was in a white robe i don't know what i was wearing. anyway they started out with "land of the living", that song being the first to be playing when this dream started, i suppose. juan carlos was playing one bass, pasha was playing another, except pasha looked like rob wright, not pasha, but i knew it was pasha anyway. that was the only occurance of a person who looked remotely like rob wright, the guy who was really rob looked alot like brother john, only with longer hair in the back, brown hair, appeared to be about 25-28years old.
they played a few,, then took a break (I'm guessing this break happened during "lullaby" or something anyway i go outside and this institution is fucking huge its amazing and it sits on a hill right above puget sound, the exact location of the home of a girl that used to live down the street from where i live now. beautiful view from this place. i run into jesse fox. we talk about something, can't remember what, but anyway val is walking by and she hears the conversation and gets real mad, starts swinging a table leg at jesse (who has black hair and only looks slightly like the real jesse) or is it jessie anyway i don't really care.. right now we're in a big dining hall or something with great antique furniture and ballroom chandeliers and shit, its truly a sight to see, this beautiful extravagant room separated from a cheesy cafeteria setting by a 15 foot wide institutional kitchen. i hear music, i remember this vividly it was slowly melting so i guess it was lullaby anyway i start making my way across the kitchen area into the cafeteria, the band has changed sides of the room i lost my place, the music is loud funny i said "hey" or something under my breath because somebody stole my place and this girl in front snaps her head around like she heard me gets a real pissed look and stomps out glaring at me the whole way. I take her place.
they play cats sex nazis and pass a microphone around the audience for a singalong and everybody knows the song proving that only people who are institutionalized or are destined to be are heavily into nomeansno.û
Prick
dream continues, lots of shit happens that i can't remember other than that it involved a drug deal followed by a lecture about drug safety from my uncle
Spur
>>THE MAN is not here.
john hinkley
>>i am wearing hte pants of reality therefore i can not discern
between role play and life, between fantasy and reality. im
sorry but thats how it works.
>>IS THIS FUCKING REAL MAN?!!! JESUS CHIRST? what the hell? it
seems so real.
>do NOT eat the pumpkin pie whatever i do do NOT eat the pie i
just have a feelin about this pie. do NOT eat it, okay? thats
really all that i request.
>eat the pumpkin pie.
Spur
>>well, then i guess your fucked, no really, im coming over there to take your pants off.
>>okay, ive been pulling your leg off, its real. sorry, youve destroyed the world.
>>the pumpkin pie is not here.
>>well, i mean, you said not to... are you sure?
Prick
find pumpkin pie
eat pants
Spur
>>the pumpkin pie is in your pants. it is smeared all over them.
>>there is pumpkin pie on your pants. are you sure you want to eat them?
Prick
eat pants
john hinkley
>>eat the fucking pie jesus christ what did i say dont
you ever listen BOB!?!
Spur
>>you eat the pie.
>>and dont call me BOB, call me frankly, its my stage name.
>>your strong religious beliefs cause you to gag as you eat the pie, but you choke it down anyhow. after eating the pie, you start to vomit. spew pie scum all over the place.
>>there is pie scum here.
>>you may DEACTIVATE RELIGOUS BELIEFS here.
Prick
get pie scum
put pie scum in shoes
eat shoes
deactivate religious beliefs
john hinkley
deficate religious beliefs
Spur
>>you get the pie scum. you are now covered in vomit.
>>your shoes already have something in them.
>>you eat your shoes. they are chewy. you feel drowsy. as you fall asleep you hear howling.
>>when you wake up the pie scum is gone!! you feel clean and smell charnel.
>>you deactivate religious beliefs. suddenly the world spins and you realize everything and nothing that ever existed before. you are EVERYWHERE. EVERYTHING is here. EVERYBODY is here. the whole world jumbles in your vision, spilling everything onto you at once. you vomit shoe bits.
Spur
>>your intestine is empty.
Prick
>>GET everything
>>EAT everything
>>FUCK everybody
john hinkley
>>kill self and do it now fucker
john hinkley
>>okay fuck everything and remove reproductive rectum
Prick
ERROR: (2167RE):: Rectum not reproductive
Spur
oh fuck this shit, im sick of refereeing this game, maybe ill come back later when i have some ideas.
Prick
no fuck you it's your JOB asshole
Joan Vermin
hmm/.
john hinkley
FUCKF DFOISDFJDSPOFJISDOKFjalkfma df
ads fdsakjsadf
w crlty
fd 'as fdlkjfadjsf lkadsfjlkafjd ds fpisss psisps sisispssd
cufck tish sipi fuckface i hate you its is your job fjalkducker
Spur
>>im not listening, nyaahh nyaah nyaah
Prick
hmmm hmmmm hmmmm hmmm hmmmm
Prick
hmmmmm
Prick
hmmmmm
Prick
FUCK hmmmm
remove reproductive facilities> _