Fantasy Suite>
Counselor
Ah, I see, JayDee...I know what you mean now. No problem, but I hope to "get around that" in the future. :)
Thanks CD, yes, you should call more often...and, yes, I'd definitely like more gifs.
JayDee
the development team has been aware of it for a while (the bug)
probably will fix in the next release
consider upgrading to 065, Counselor...
JayDee
some are quite beautiful
most are exploitative trash
who gives a shit about copyright violations in that case
Corpus Delectable
Counselor, we've just both been pretty busy....but SJ says he'll send ya' lots more gifs & jpgs tomarrow or soon....he has hundreds he gets them mostly from the internet....
MontyL
Corpus> Could you get him to post the site for those? }:>
Counselor
Got 'em...
And, I'm very anxiously awaiting the release of 065...
MontyL
I'll go for the beautiful ones...
JayDee
probably school
Black Wolf
Hey where's Nikkita been?
Corpus Delectable
Most of the ones he gets are from the internet rooms called: Alt. Binarys.Pictures.Erotica & Alt. Binarys Pictures. females & a few others....we just uploaded a huge batch of them to Counselors bbs, the Advisory Board up in Kirkland
Corpus Delectable
Some women like to spell it differently because they don't want the "man" part, & some people spell vampire "vampyre" becasue they aren't the real thing, just pretending or role-playing.....I spell it differently just for kicks & cuz I get bored with the ordinary sometimes....I just like doing things a little different occasionally.....
Lady Non Sequitur
Actually, the Temple of Set spells it vampyre not because they aren't the real thing, but to differentiate from all the posers they see out there ... I still find them silly, tho ...
Corpus Delectable
Yes, I've heard stuff like that....I just do it to be different....& yes, I've heard about the feminist-types...something like they don't want any part of "man" in it...I've heard that some of them (this was several years ago) even wanted to start re-writing hidtory books & stuff so it didn't say that all men were created equal but somehting different like everyone is created equal or something like that....kinda nice, but too silly...
Lady Non Sequitur
that's about right on the feminist part, they change it so they are not just a diminutive (is that the right word?) of men, but a different word in its own right. I kinda think it's all semantics -- how you feel about yourself and your gender rather than the name you call it.
john hinkley
nikita hs been removed.
you no longer need to worry about her.
shane
the pigs are gonna be all over your ass if nikita turns up dead
Phil
um, nikita isn't posting because columbia crest is down. she is anxiously awaiting it's return.
Lady Non Sequitur
well, in a way it's not that bad an idea. When I was in college, I actually heard a relatively intelligent woman say she didn't know why feminists wanted so many changes in history books, it wasn't as if women had much influence on history ... I wanted to slap her. Instead I threw Marie Curie, Sybil Luddington (sp?), John Adams' wife, and a number of other women at her, including the woman and black man behind the cottin gin (not Eli Whitney, wasn't a man who invented it, just that women and blacks couldn't get patents)... and they have proven that if you ask a child to draw a fireman, they will draw male firefighters ... if you ask them to draw fire fighters, they will draw both women and men ... same thing for policeman versus police officer ... the verbal distinctions can influence the way children view who can do what ...
ZooKeeper
Lady NS -- that's true -- but to some extent, the semantics define what we are allowed to feel about ourselves. strange cycle...
shane
i'd rather think she's dead, just so somebody gets in trouble
john hinkley
nikita is anxiously dead
Black Wolf
Bummer about Columbia Crest, if anybody knows her tell her I said hi.
I miss her storys, and our conversations.
Corpus Delectable
I should start writting again. Been kinda busy lately...
Danger
i fel that this whole remove man/men from the world is fucking stupid. ugh. local echo sucks.
Black Wolf
please do.. :)
StraitJacket
Nothing like watching pretty females modeling lingerie... What a way to waste an evening.
szNeonx
:)
Sean Beougher
Nothing like helping them remove said lingerie and checking out the merchandise.
Black Wolf
<Black Wolf sets up the VCR for to record any lingerie shoots on the 29th for the next few weeks.>
Way cool Corpus..
chester cheetah
anyone have a capture of a stor I posted in here maybe three monhs ago about some poor undertaker meting a rather odd mystery date? Please repost, I had a harddrive crash, and it wasn't backed up.
MontyL
You better move to Seattle quick, wolfie... TCI don't carry it here...
Torch Song
He doesn't have TCI anyway...
Corpus Delectable
I want to make love to my husband on a hill overlooking a beach on a somewhat warm evening during a beautiful sunset....
MontyL
Even worse...
One of these nights, when the munchkins are away, I'll have to check Spice(tm) out... PPV, even. Care to join me? }:>
Lady Non Sequitur
Found this on the net ... enjoy ... sacriligious, but hey, you only live once...
From: an95966@anon.penet.fi (Not Trent Reznor)
The Last Temptation of Cobain
Foamed from the mouth of Not Trent Reznor
YE OLDE DISCLAIMER:
I write these things for kicks, not for any serious attempts at
fiction. They suck, frankly. Plus they've got things in them that
would make Senator Helms choke on his own tie. So, if you're
offended by crap like that... fuck, why are you READING this
newsgroup?! These stories don't feature too much sex, though,
mostly humor and offensive situations. If you're just looking for
a wank, go read those stories where eight year olds get into
orgies with one or more units of livestock. Want a laugh, read on.
Kurt slammed into the cloudbanks and bounced four times before skidding to a stop, damn and depressed.
He reached up and felt his head. Still intact. Damn. Should have gotten that warranty on the shotgun. What good is a high- powered firearm if you can't even blast your head off with it?
Before further thoughts of suing the shit out of Smith and Wesson could bounce around his cranium, he realized that he wasn't in Seattle anymore.
It didn't look very much like Seattle. No rain, first of all. Plenty of clouds, but they were the white fluffy kind you usually see in kid's bath books (chewable!) next to the bunnies and things. Kurt liked to color fangs on those bunnies... when he was alive.
So it did work! He was dead, finally, an end to the pain and suffering and binding record contracts. Funny, felt a lot like life; dull, boring, and uneventful.
"Welcome to heaven, Kurt," and angel said behind him. He spun around, pulling his unwashed locks away from his eyes, and examined the angel.
Pretty basic angel. White robe, flowing blonde hair, pair of wings and a harp. Quite a pair of knockers as well. He didn't picture chicks in heaven being so, well, built, but didn't particularly mind. Hope Courtney didn't shoot herself too, or he wouldn't have any fun up here.
"I'm dead, right?" Kurt asked.
"Most certainly. Dead and in heaven, a joyous place where the clouds are puffy and you can play skeeball all day. That and play a harp."
"Can I have an electric guitar?"
"Heavy metal is Satan's music."
"I know. Can I have one?"
"No," she said. "It's against the rules. Appropriate eternal musical habits doctrine, paragraph 4, section II. No electric guitars."
"Fuck the system, I want one anyway."
"Good luck," she said. "You can't find any up here. Very easy to ban something, just remove it from the premises. You can do that when you're omnipotent."
"What, like God?"
"Exactly. He's a nice guy, really, just doesn't like power chords."
"If I can't play guitar, can I at least do the drums?"
"Too loud. The bass tends to dissolve cloud layers."
"Can I at least LISTEN to some tunes? Got any Doors? Meat Puppets? Hell, even some Sex Pistols."
"AIEEE!" she screamed, clapping her hands over her ears.
"Eh?"
"Don't say that word."
"What word? Pistols?"
"No, the one before that."
"Sex?"
"AIEEE!"
"I can't even have sex up here?"
"AIEEE!"
"Stop that."
"Sorry. Reflexes. All angels are by definition pure and cannot let their ears be soiled."
"Can they get anything else on them soiled?" Kurt asked, hopeful.
"Not that I know of."
"Heaven sucks."
"Kinda," the angel admitted. "Don't worry, dear Kurt, you'll get used to it. After a few years you get used to the tedium and start to really like harp music."
"Can I, like, go back to the land of the living as a zombie and wreak havoc upon those who wronged me like in 'The Crow'?" Kurt asked.
"Who wronged you?"
"Society. The educational system. The government. The recording industry. MTV. The human race. Cats. Single-celled--"
"Too many wrongs," the angel said. "Express return to Earth in zombie form requires a maximum of six wrongings. Sorry, but you're a bit over that limit."
"Can I jump off the cloud and splatter?"
"You're already dead, silly. You can't do anything wrong enough to get you booted out of heaven; that's not the way it works. Trust me, after being here for as many millennia as I have, you get bored trying to piss off people."
Kurt pondered this. Heaven wasn't angsty enough. He'd be bored stiff... well, a bored stiff if he stuck around. What could he do to get kicked out, though?
"I got it," he said. "I know one good way outta here."
"What's that?"
Trent happily walked forward and grabbed the angel's robe collar, ripping it unevenly down her body. The angel yelped and jumped back.
"Feel a draft?" Trent grinned.
"What was that for? Now I gotta get a new robe. They're out of white, you know, need to settle for that ghastly off-white."
"How about this. You want out of here, I want out too. You said sex--"
"AIEEE!"
"--yes, aieee, was expressly against the rules. We fuck and get kicked out."
"But Hell is a not-nice place where you get tortured and tormented all your existence!"
"My life has sucked rather badly," Kurt said. "I think Hell's gonna be a cakewalk. At least I'll be able to crank some chords. Now, you wanna leave or do I just jack off?"
The angel considered this. She hadn't been properly laid in thousands of years... maybe they'd figured out a new way to do it she didn't know about. She'd be really embarrassed then.
Suppressing all her audio-filtration instincts, she asked : "Is it still basic penis-in-vagina in and out?"
"Last time I checked."
The angel exhaled. "Phew. Takes a lot of effort to say that. Okay, I'll do it, but try not to talk dirty unless you want my yelling to reach the other side of paradise."
With that, she took the tattered robe and tossed it aside, wings with it (they were staple-gunned on anyway). She strummed the harp a little to increase her purity quota one last time, then ditched it.
Kurt had to admit, she looked good. Absurdly large breasts that the robe did nothing for, a nicely trimmed crotch, and a waist you could probably fit one of those silly ski-rack bungee cords around without stretching it. On the whole, a real heavenly body, puns aside.
"Okay, what do I do first?"
"Are you kidding?"
"Gimmie a break, I haven't fu... err... made love in a few centuries."
"Alright," Kurt said, sitting down on the cloud, which felt remarkably unlike a mattress. "Unzip me and blow."
"Eh?"
"Take my dick and suck it," he said.
"AIEEE!"
"Oh. Sorry. Well, you get the point, right?"
"I think," she said, fumbling his zipper and pulling his ripped jeans down. She pulled his Captain Sarcastic underoos down and his semi-hard member popped out, waving in the continual light breezes of heaven. She promptly jammed the entire thing down her throat, balls and all.
"Yurrrhh!" Kurt exclaimed. She pulled her head away, confused.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"How the hell did you manage that?"
"It's heaven. We don't have to breathe, and since vomit is gross we can't gag."
"Not bad. If the place wasn't such a drag, I'd stick around. Okay, continue."
The angel nodded, and resumed inhaling him. Kurt's eyes crossed as her tongue did strange and wonderful things to him, little wet points sliding all around.
She started bobbing her head obscenely (how else could it be done?) lips sliding up and down his shaft. Kurt's mind was currently orbiting pluto, blown out of his skull like no double- barrelled metal wonder could.
-continued-
Lady Non Sequitur
-continued-
The angel started twisting her lips around the top of his dick, her hands working the rest of its length, rubbing a wacky mixture of precum and spit all over. He'd need a shower afterwards... colder the better, but for now simply went with it.
"That's it, baby... suck my dick har--"
"MMPPPH!"
"Whoops. Suck... it more."
She nodded, bobbing his dick as she did. She completely engulfed his rod again, and started sucking hard enough to pull the muscles out through the tip.
Kurt yowled through an orgasm, his load blasting down her throat. She didn't seem to mind, too intent on doing a good job at 'sucking'.
"Argh... okay! Okay! I'm done. You can stop now," Kurt said, vision blurring. The human vacuum cleaner turned off, and she stood back up.
"Mmmm," she said. "I remember what THAT was like."
"Think we got noticed?" Kurt asked, standing up shakily.
"I don't think so," she said. "I've got an idea."
"What?"
She pushed Kurt backward with her pinky finger, and promptly sat on him.
"Good call," he grunted.
She rubbed his dick more, waiting until it was hard enough. Taking a deep breath (although this wasn't really important), she aimed her cunt opening over his dick and slammed downwards.
Kurt yelped as he entered her, pushing through the rusty, hardly been used in years gates of her pussy. She started bouncing up and down, working his dick in and out of her shaft.
"Alright, now talk dirty to me," she demanded, breathing heavily.
"You sure?"
"DO IT!"
"Jeez, okay, bitch, calm down!"
"AIEEE!"
"Fuckin' whore, you're really a fallen angel now, huh?"
"AIEEE! This is GREAT! I'm sick of harps and chanting! I want this, SEX! I wanna fuck everybody! I wanna try all that stuff they say is bad, like dog-style, like bondage, maybe even like homosexual relations. And most importantly, I want to use men up and leave them in the morning was wasted, burnt-out shells!"
"I like everything but the last part... almost there, baby, fuck it a little harder..."
"AIEEE!" she screamed, enjoying it.
By now someone must have noticed, because the cloud was starting to shake, adding to the general up and down motion. Kurt came twice in her, all the while hearing :
THOU HAST FORSAKEN THE GARDEN OF DELIGHTS FOR CHEAP WIGGLE AND JIGGLE. THOU ART NOT FIT FOR HEAVEN.
"WE DID IT!" Kurt yelled in the middle of his last orgasm. Then the cloud vanished and they fell, nude and intertwined, several million infinities of feet.
They landed, nude and sweaty, in hell, directly in front of a reptilian office clerk, typing away on Notepad for Windows 3.1.
"Kurt Cobain and one of their little angel types," he nodded. "Yeesh, couldn't live without it for five minutes, could you?"
"Exactly," Kurt agreed, standing up, naked and proud. "DAMN it feels good to be here. When do I get my guitar?"
"And when can I get into your cult prostitution ring?" the angel asked, rubbing the cream out of her cunt.
The devil just laughed.
"What's so funny?" she asked.
"What, you think you're going to get what you want? That's not how it works, kids. Kurt, you're going to spent the rest of your life filling in for the missing Bee Gee. Hope you like cheap Casio synths."
"WHAT? NOOO--" and with a burst of fire, he was gone. A vaguely distorted beat was heard over his screams.
"And as for you, little miss goody two shoes turned slut of the year, it's off to catholic school for you. And it's not one of those catholic schools like you read about in alt.sex.stories either where the girls tie each other up and suck pussy. You're going to be a NUN."
A habit bamfed into existence over her soppy, creamy figure. Her waist inflated and her skin got wrinkles. A ruler appeared in one hand. She briefly had a look of anguish on her face before flaming away, faint echoes of unruly teen brats laughing at her the only sound remaining.
"Ah, I love my job," the devil said, straightening his poker visor. He clicked the intercom on. "Send Hitler up for his daily gassing, please."
THE END
(see above disclaimer)
szNeonx
I want to do it green eggs and ham style... on a train in the rain.
Torch Song
Is that an open invitation, MontyL? };>
MontyL
You bet! No sense watching it alone... }:>
Edit
I meant
Fingering
in the grade school way, not a hand job...but, like,
inserting my finger INTO a woman has never worked in my
experience. Hand jobs are easy, though.
Fun, too.
I had a dream a few nights back.
Very short version: I went to a friends house to see how
he was doing. Next door they were constructing an airplane
hangar or something. He didn't seem interested in that, he
wanted to show me the construction HE was doing in the
back yard. We went back and there were all these wooden
pilings sticking out of the grass (sexual reference #1).
They had been tarred black, and he wanted me to wipe the
areas he had missed with this black stain and a little rag,
(sexual reference #2). As I was doing this, I realized there
was a black bear in the backyard with us, (sexual reference #3).
The bear was very friendly, (sexual refernce #4). And it was
soon giving it to me the way no bear had before (parental
complex reference #1). The bears breath stank, (work ethic
vs. personal responsibility reference #1). I woke up and
took a shower.
Torch Song
Whee!
Mina
You know, I never knew why dreams are supposed to be colorless. I always have color in my dreams, and if they are really vivid dreams, I will almost always have the sense of touch, i can feel everything. Last week I had a dream about bees. I kept finding them in places one would never want one, in my nose, my mouth, on my thighs.. it was the weirdest dream, and I thoroughly hated it.
Prick
my, that was some nifty analysis.
Corpus Delectable
EEEWWWW!!! sounds like one of mine a few days back, I had this one weird dream about this big snake that liked me & tried to hug me....to death I think...I also have a sense of touch in some of my dreams, I rarely remember any colors though, excpet on certain main things sometimes.
ZooKeeper
hey, I thought I was just in the dreams room!
Bookworm
You only dreamt that ZK.
ZooKeeper
must have...
<wandering away mumbling>
Megamol
hee...
uncle herb
hahahahaha!
Bookworm
:)
ZooKeeper
so where are all the juicy fantasy posts?
besides that I've never had time to write mine up...
or down
or whatever
ZooKeeper
and what was that smirk for bw?
Bookworm
:) :X
JayDee
e-mail, ZooKeeper, e-mail
ZooKeeper
JayDee -- was that a comment, or a request? };>
JayDee
all the juicy posts, ZooKeeper
they usually are in e-mail
and best ones are usually local, in the msg.dat
but reality lies face-to-face/ear-to-ear
never gets netted-out
unless encrypted
for your eyes only...
Kagro X
H E Y, W h A T D O Y O U K N O W? I t ' S M Y G O O D B U D D Y, C O U N S E L O R. H I, C O U N S E L O R. W H A T ' S N E W?
Torch Song
chester -- on it's way :)
Black Wolf
tis quite funny
Bookworm
:)
Saint Bob
I like the down-the-side style much better, personally, Kagro.
MontyL
To say the least!
Megamol
heh...
Corpus Delectable
heheheheheh on the story about kurt.....
Bookworm
True CD. :)
chester cheetah
TS - thanks.
LITTLE MERMAID
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGG!! My eyes!!! My eyes!!! ouch!!!
Fantasy Suite> _